Why do some children get sick often
If the child is sick more than six times a year or the recovery period lasts longer than 10-12 days, then such a child can be called “FREQUENTLY ill.” Many are used to thinking that the psychological state of the child does not affect his well-being and health. That is why any runny nose or cough is “attributed” to a weak immunity or “painful” environment in a kindergarten or school. Psychologists conducted a series of studies and studied under what conditions ordinary and even familiar childhood diseases can be psychologically motivated.
Let’s look at the different options for the causes of frequent incidence of children from the point of view of psychology in two aspects: the reason is in the child himself and if the reason is in the family, in the parents.
There is such a concept in psychology as “secondary benefit”, it is a kind of benefit that is not immediately visible. In the foreground, there is no benefit on the surface, high fever, sore throat, cough, etc., what good can it be, what other benefit! But … as soon as the baby gets sick, mother, of course, pays special attention to the child, his condition. And oddly enough, it is at this moment that the child can feel loved. If we consider the languages of love according to G. Chapman, then there are such languages as:
• Quality time (Mom takes sick leave, sits next to her, goes to the clinic, mom and child spend a lot of time together)
• Touch (Mom touches her head, checking the temperature, does wipes to knock it down, applies ointments, etc.)
• Caring (A sick child receives a lot from her mother: mother gives medicine, prepares fruit drinks, prepares her favorite food, shelters, wraps her baby, and all this is a concern)
• Words (Filling with pity for a sick child, mothers, of course, say many affectionate words and the child is filled with love at these moments)
• Gifts (Some mothers also start to buy sweets, toys, making the disease more and more “attractive”)
If you understand that the situations described are related to your family, I suggest you pay attention to the following points:
1. Pay attention to the leading language of love of your baby, in which he is filled with love and feels loved.
2. Watch for fullness of love when the child is healthy! After all, if a child feels loved and has no shortage, then there is no need to get sick.
3. Teach your child to directly ask for what he needs: “Stroke my back,” “Sit with me before bedtime,” etc. The main thing is to provide the child with the opportunity to receive mom’s and dad’s attention in a positive way.
4. Fulfilling the baby’s requests, make sure that this is not formally, for show, but for the sole purpose of filling the child, saturating, and preventing the formation of a deficiency.
5. At the first signs of a child’s malaise, remain calm, do not panic and do not shout: “Here, again, cough! When will this end? ”Instead, calmly, as if by chance, ask the baby:“ What would my sun want? ”The answer may sound like this:“ Collect the constructor with you! ”And this will shed light on the hidden nature of the illnesses of the child.
6. The important thing is not the amount of time spent with the child, but its quality. Do you only have half an hour a day to chat? Fill them with strong emotions. It can be games where both the mother and the child experience the same excitement, heart-to-heart talks … It is important that the child feels: these half an hour mother with him with all her being, and does not mentally solve work issues while throwing him a bright the ball.
7. Make sure that during the days of illness the child is not allowed what is forbidden when he is healthy, for example, more cartoons. Let him learn: there is absolutely nothing attractive in an ailment!
8. If you notice that the disease becomes “attractive” for your child, it is worth emphasizing the shortcomings of the disease, creating restrictions so that the child would rather want to recover. Those. during illness, the child must be aware that he is losing his important advantages – the ability to walk, etc. At the same time, it is important to try to maintain a good mood in it, because it has an extremely positive effect on immunity, taking care of health to understand all the processes that we are talking about.
The next thing I want to draw your attention to is: behavioral strategies. And here I mean different types of motivation: motivation to achieve success, we will call it “Aspiration” and motivation to avoid failure “Avoidance”. What is it and how it can relate to the causes of frequent morbidity in children.
The strategy of “Avoidance”, evading something unpleasant: punishment, failure. Children can get sick just to stay home, not to go to kindergarten, school, if they feel bad there, if they are in these institutions they cause stress, tension, bad mood, or maybe they are just afraid of something there. What are chronically ill children mostly afraid of? Often such diseases are associated with childhood fears of problems, an unconscious reaction to them. For example, a child has a fight or a fight and does not know how to behave now.